Well, just thought I should clear something up before I write a lot in this journal - I'm not particularly expecting responses, as I know it's going to be random.

I was given today, as a birthday and good luck present, an old silver necklace with a cross pendant and turquoise stones set in it. It is amazing - I have fallen in love with it. The woman who gave it to me told me that she bought it in an antique shop, and it is obviously quite old. This got me thinking about the other people/person who must have worn it before me. Say there has ony been one previous owner, I wonder who it was and what she was like. What did she do for a living, what was her homelife like? I love the thought that I'm now wearing a necklace that holds inside it a memory of someone else's life.

I think I love this because I love the thought of being able to immerse myself in someone else's persona. This is why I love acting so much - it's not the fact that I can escape my own life as I'm acting, it's the way that I can explore or create someone else's, without it needing to be perfect, as I would like my own to be. I am safe in it because I know if it doesn't work out I can slip back into myself and hold the memory of my time as that other person in my mind.

This search for a personality to fit also comes out in another of my favourite ways to pass the time. I collect quotes which I feel help to explain life or give me a deeper insight into an aspect of people than I have. I do not go out of my way to find these quotes, it's not a question of research, I simply write them down as and when I hear them, in films or on the street or in songs. Just for anyone who has bothered to read all of this I want to share 3 of my favourite ones, and where they came from, if I can remember! -

'You look down, they know you're lying, and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh - he's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for god's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances....' This is from Ocean's 11, and I love it as advice and I also love the way that that little bit of information you really need to know never gets said - how will that interuption change your fate?

'When people think you're dying they really listen to you, instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.' This one's from Fight Club, my favourite film of all time , it's a sad truth, but in my opinion people only really begin to care when they realise that someone is dying - they start to regret their missed opportunities with that person and try manically to make it all better.

'Those who suffer for others, suffer forever' I have no idea where this is from, but I have just one comment relating to it - surely it's better that I should suffer forever than that the person whose suffering I have relieved should have suffered at all?

kate